A fight in class
“Thank you Mr Lim,” the class droned monotonously. Once Mr Lim had stridden out of the class, the students breathed a sigh of relief. The most boring lesson of the day, Mathematics, had just ended, and Mr Lim had not given any homework. As soon as the echoes of his footsteps had faded, the chaos began. Girls clumped together in small groups and started chatting animatedly. Boys started horsing around and drawing rude pictures on the whiteboard. In the midst of all the chaos, no one noticed Jim and Tim, who were standing at a corner of the classroom and arguing.
“I saw you taking my pen!” Jim yelled. “Well, where’s the proof?” yelled back Tim, face flushed with anger. Persistently, they argued louder and louder, telling the other his faults.
All of a sudden, Tim’s patience broke. Snarling in a wild manner, he shoved Jim towards a nearby chair. Shouting in astonishment, Jim landed and toppled the chair over. Tim sneered and jeered at him.
All the commotion at the back corner of the classroom had attracted many people to the scene of the commotion, particularly the boys. The girls, on the other hand, were shouting at the boys to stop, but they were being ignored.
Despite all the jeering, Jim realised that he would not go down without a fight. With difficulty, he stood up and flung a well-aimed kick at Tim’s stomach. His face scrunched up in agony, Tim doubled over in pain. Jim was beside himself in fury.
Taking advantage of Tim’s temporary disability, Jim rained kicks and punches one after another on Tim. Still, Tim did not want to give up. He tried feebly to kick Jim, but failed miserably. Realisation dawned on him. He was at the losing end.
Suddenly, footsteps were heard in the distance. It was their form teacher, Ms Tan! All the students hurried back to their seats, all except for Jim and Tim. A few signalled to them that the teacher was coming, but neither of them took any notice. “Jim, Tim, come with me to the principal’s office NOW!!” Ms Tan yelled, as soon as she had taken in what had happened.They were both brought to the principal’s office, where they were made to tell exactly what had happened, and Tim had to be brought to the sick bay as his wounds needed attending to. Our class was told that both of them were severely punished. The class was also given a very useful piece of advice – never fight violence with violence
“Thank you Mr Lim,” the class droned monotonously. Once Mr Lim had stridden out of the class, the students breathed a sigh of relief. The most boring lesson of the day, Mathematics, had just ended, and Mr Lim had not given any homework. As soon as the echoes of his footsteps had faded, the chaos began. Girls clumped together in small groups and started chatting animatedly. Boys started horsing around and drawing rude pictures on the whiteboard. In the midst of all the chaos, no one noticed Jim and Tim, who were standing at a corner of the classroom and arguing.
“I saw you taking my pen!” Jim yelled. “Well, where’s the proof?” yelled back Tim, face flushed with anger. Persistently, they argued louder and louder, telling the other his faults.
All of a sudden, Tim’s patience broke. Snarling in a wild manner, he shoved Jim towards a nearby chair. Shouting in astonishment, Jim landed and toppled the chair over. Tim sneered and jeered at him.
All the commotion at the back corner of the classroom had attracted many people to the scene of the commotion, particularly the boys. The girls, on the other hand, were shouting at the boys to stop, but they were being ignored.
Despite all the jeering, Jim realised that he would not go down without a fight. With difficulty, he stood up and flung a well-aimed kick at Tim’s stomach. His face scrunched up in agony, Tim doubled over in pain. Jim was beside himself in fury.
Taking advantage of Tim’s temporary disability, Jim rained kicks and punches one after another on Tim. Still, Tim did not want to give up. He tried feebly to kick Jim, but failed miserably. Realisation dawned on him. He was at the losing end.
Suddenly, footsteps were heard in the distance. It was their form teacher, Ms Tan! All the students hurried back to their seats, all except for Jim and Tim. A few signalled to them that the teacher was coming, but neither of them took any notice. “Jim, Tim, come with me to the principal’s office NOW!!” Ms Tan yelled, as soon as she had taken in what had happened.They were both brought to the principal’s office, where they were made to tell exactly what had happened, and Tim had to be brought to the sick bay as his wounds needed attending to. Our class was told that both of them were severely punished. The class was also given a very useful piece of advice – never fight violence with violence
6 comments:
you should add a description when miss tan entered the room and got all angry.. meaning add a description on how angry miss tan was when she saw the two boys fighting.. you didnt even mention that miss tan saw the two boys.. story gap!
oh yeah, you didn't mention that you were in that class, so how can you say 'our class' and 'we' at the end?
Er 1 comment, add a cbox:)
erm... story is interesting but like the rest say, there is story gap. I like the second last paragraph. quite gd
agree with the rest. looking forward to your 2nd draft.
In the midst of all the chaos, no one noticed Jim and Tim, who were standing at a corner of the classroom and arguing.
I think you should change to classroom, arguing.
Jim was beside himself in fury.
Jim was beside himself?!
I agree with mic :D
Do take note and comment my compo!
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